Today, middle child broke a plate just after the hoover packed it in. I shrunk eldest child's favourite dress in the tumble dryer. I emptied the fridge to clean it and smallest child freaked out, saying "We haven't got anymore food!". He was reassured when I pointed it all laid out on the counter behind him. It was 14 degrees and I went to pick up the kids without wearing a coat. I discovered that the French radio station NRJ plays the uncensored versions of songs, has practically no adverts and has substituted annoying DJs for celebrities such as Katy Perry and Lady Gaga talking in bad French. The cat has decided it loves us again, purely based on the fact that we now give it Whiskas. Middle child informed me that the reason I couldn't open a vacuum sealed jar earlier was because I 'don't have enough muscles' and then suggested I move over and let her have a go. She also informed me that I brush smallest child's teeth wrong and proceeded to cover the entire bathroom with toothpaste spray whilst demonstrating how to do it properly. She had to colour a tortoise in different colours for her homework, and then later dropped all the felt tip pens on the floor. I received a bouquet of flowers picked from the garden from the two youngest kids.
Do I have to leave?
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